Men Piss Me Off!

Today in SAC class everyone was talking about the Tinman Marathon which takes place tomorrow. Mason Shantz was saying how his only goal was to beat Erin Schnore to which Ryan Bauman replied “Really? You should maybe set a higher goal,” a comment which made me think in my outside voice “Asshole!” A conversation ensued as to how men are proven scientifically to be superior athletes and women are slower and don’t have the endurance and stamina of a man and are basically only built to give birth. So Ryan, since Erin is competing in a “Man’s” activity by running, swimming and biking I say we have you try and do what women are built to do. First we will strap 2 litre bags of milk to your chest, then for a year you can enjoy a period complete with excruciating cramps that make you barf and a weeks worth of bloody tampons, the next year you can be pregnant, so you can go through morning sickness, stretching skin and being kicked in the gut by a little gremlin, then we can implant an 11 pound weight into your abdomen (11 pounds, the size of the baby that my cousin delivered naturally) and have you carry that around with you for awhile, then after a suitable amount of time we will sit you down and have you try and piss out a grapefruit over the span of a days time and after you have completed all those tasks we can have another talk about endurance and stamina…Asshole.

Ps I don’t care what science says, Erin could kick your ass running, walking, and biking even despite the fact that she’s carrying 2 litre sacs on her chest! GO ERIN!